So this week all I did was basically just try to decide if I would actually perform. It's a hard question because every time I think I have enough jokes, it is never enough by the time it's time. I think I should keep in mind that the audience are none but my peers. But maybe that's what scares me so much. Because if I fail, they'll be the faces I see the next day and the day after that. In any case, I still don't know if I'm going to. I think it's going to be one of those things where if I have enough courage the day of, it will get done. However, it would depend on the day itself.
I read this thing last week about how if we practice enough, we should never be scared in a game. Maybe that's what I need. But there's a significant difference between practicing in front of a mirror and shooting a couple of jumpers. Those jumpers will be the same thing in a real game, whereas practicing in front of a mirror will quite frequently be different than performing in front of a real crowd. Or is it? Maybe it's just my mind telling me so.
I've been watching a lot of Daniel Tosh recently, and I came up with a good idea that I hope will help me. Daniel Tosh is inappropriate and scandalous and controversial and I love him. He develops his joke with a series of line that gradually leads to his big conclusion. I watched him, and I had the idea of taking notes which is weird, but it came to mind and I couldn't let go of it. The idea was to simply type up his words as he were saying them so I could follow the structure and creativity of his mind. This seemed a lot like plagiarism, but it's not like I was going to publish it anywhere but the internet and who goes on that, anyways? I'm just kidding, of course, but you'll never know. Anyways, I did that last week, and I'm not sure if it's helpful or not. It was just fun to do. Throughout the process, I appreciated how many levels his jokes had. More than in terms of meaning, his jokes had many levels that he went through before ultimately reaching a place where he could say what he wanted. The next week, I'll see how this activity helps me. Hopefully, it will help me because it took a significant amount of time.
Have you thought about writing rather than performing? You could have a comedic blog where you do much as you're doing now--but you could write and not have to worry as much about the failure face to face. You talk about the effortlessness that you see in comedians, but I see a lot of effortlessness in your writing skills. You should read David Sedaris or other humorists/satirists...maybe that's where you'll find what you're looking for. :-)
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